Every time we talk about something, we tend to talk as if we always know what we are talking about.
For example, when we talk of someone.
She is such a bitch.
She talks like as if she never entered an educational system.
She is this.
She is that.
oh, my god! and look at her chew at that gum!
Did you hear about her new boyfriend?
Why'dya think he picked her?!
It must be the money, the sex, and for whatever it's worth, I won't be like her!
It all boils down to one cliche..."it takes one to know one".
how can you say if the fruit is an apple? It's because you have a notion of what an apple is like. And so no matter how your friend insist on calling the orange apple, she just managed to change the name, but not the orange itself. Calling one something does not automatically makes that something into what you called it. Before I get carried away with the apples and the oranges, let me say my point...we can only label and say things that we have known. In the case of judging people, we cannot really know for sure. Human beings are unpredictable and unlike the mentioned fruits, there is no significant category for each and human being. Blame it on our awareness of ourselves. We are aware of who we are and thus, we gained the opportunity to change or enhance that part of ourselves that we think needs it. However, we may have awareness of other things and people, our perspective of our reality is not what they really are -- but we see them as we are.
Let me expound on that.
We all have backgrounds and we all have our own unique molds. We share the same world and may meet the same people...but we look at them individually. There may be collective agreement on certain things like, the square has four sides and the world is round, however, in closely looking at reality, we all have a myriad of frame and individual understanding making the details of our present, past, and future an individualized reality that each of us can only own.
Let's say marriage.
Some people hate it.Others are happy with it. Some people, after a failed marriage are willing to try it again, some people would rather be dead than say the words "I do". Other people do so for money, others - because of obligation. Others do it as an escape from their current situation, other do it to save someone else's life. Some people marry out of need, others out of greed. Others do so, just because, few do so, for a very important reason. A marriage may take place with or without love, with or without needs, with or without consent...
and I haven't gotten into the details yet.
and so when we try to judge a person, we really judge ourselves. We get the illusion of knowing who she is when we unknowingly compare ourselves to that other person. The benchmark always, when we look at other people and things, is ourselves. The jewelry is nice. The picture is significant. The man is good-looking.
so let me then be clear -- looking at other people and the world in general is really looking into a mirror...they just reflect a different face.
hateful people hate themselves.
unhappy people are people who are not contented with themselves.
greedy people want everything for themselves.
people who looks at the world with pain are people who burdens himself/herself with unnecessary guilt.
Ever notice something with people who are happy with who they are and what they have? They seldom complain of other people and of little things...it's because, they have nothing to complain about themselves ...
i bid you a happy self-hunting. May you like what you find.