writing my way to sleep.

where is mr. sandman when you need him?

I can feel the air getting colder and my feet are kinda liking it. Humming slowly to calm my wandering mind and making a havoc in other people's lives by sending unnecessary hellos via sms to people who don't want to be disturbed.

Im sorry. I am a bad girl. And this bad girl is having trouble sleeping. And just like any other bad girl, this little missy is making sure, her suffering of having another sleepless night is being shared with other people who've hit the bed with ease and who unfortunately have their cellphone under their pillow. Im sorry, but misery loves company.

My nocturnal friends have, to my disadvantage, gotten smarter. They know what to do now when they receive my sleepless-night-lovenotes...They ignore it. hehe. Or better yet, they reply with an invitation for me to come out of my hibernation to join them in their prowl of the city. Regardless of the fact that I may look like a party-girl, I am not. My semi-goth choices of clothes and make-up is something I wear because I like it...not because I have some goth-party to attend to...that's just me...weird. Anyway, an invitation to party out always make me stuck my tongue out in frustration. I rarely go out to socialize.

Don't get me wrong, I am a happy, outgoing little missy-- it's just that I have my own little party twirl in my head. A second party will just mess me up. A hot coco is a better preference to soothe my heart and calm my soul. Plus I grew up where parties are for special occasions. haha CHAR.

oh well.

My choices of whatever is the least of my concern tonight.
I am willing to give up my bloody red lipstick for a few winks from mr. sandman. Ok, let me throw my to skull tops too...
but please please don't ask for my slippers...they are expensive.

I know I should stop wearing slippers in my meetings...but I've totally given up wearing sandals and shoes for a year now that I find it quite difficult to give up the comfort of having my bare feet worshiped by friends and strangers alike. WOhoo! The comfort of feeling their eyes look at my stubby toes as it lightly taps in choreography that makes them wonder if the toes will even fall out sooner or later as they hold their breath in fascination.
Ok I made that up.

It's just comfortable...plus they're mine.

ok, now im starting to worry about my feet. Thank heavens, we have a just God, he gave you a pair of your own to worry over...if not -- you must have done something to piss him off. All I can say is...better learn how you did it and fast, before you start doing it again and have your organs removed next.

Lucky you if He chose the kidney first...if not --you might voluntarily offer that one...others get a Php100,000 in the exchange... but the money is actually not a payment for the organ...you cannot make God pay for something he made...the money you receive is a debt...to be paid in installments...within small measures of suffering when you urinate everyday...when your pissing with one leg up...that means, your interest just got higher.

Awww..that is sad... I don't want to give up my kidneys..not now. Not ever... well...except when I really have to. hehe. Giving up something we love or something that is a part of us will always be painful...It can come in the form of SBOD --shocking blow on delivery or to be experienced in installments of small measurements of suffering stretching from a week to half a millenium... But that is life. It is neither free nor fair. It has its own sets of jokes that we sometimes find cruel rather than funny... But its jokes are always funny. We just sometimes don't have the right sense of humor.

Speaking of which....so many things I want to say...but sleep has finally found it's way to me....hehe. good night world...hello mr. sandman. finally.