musings on death

this is in response to Catea's comment.

How do I want to die?

That is one question that have passed my mind not too often but has passed more than once.
I don't know how I want to die, but I do know that I don't want to die violently. I'm scared of dying slowly, having to slowly see my life and everything pass away in front of me. I don't want to be confronted by my conscience if I had done everything right, which I know the answer is not gonna be satisfactory -- which would make me beg for life -- so I can straighten things out.

Urong-sulong - a phenomena that happens when one is in doubt is an experience that only prolongs one's agony.It cannot help you, it just swings you back and forth, until you are dizzy that you just gave up -- without you ever going anywhere.

If I'm gonna die, maybe I'd want it swift and sweet. I don't want to be mutilated, that looks not so good on my funeral pictures. *You just cannot dismiss aesthetics even when you're dead, or else, you'll be giving nightmares to everyone who creeps up your coffin to say their final goodbye. On the other hand, it might scare them enough to do something about their lives, good or not...but that is inconsequential. You don't want to start a chain of events when you are dead. You'd rather do that when you are alive.

Hmmm...I've always wanted to grow old gracefully... but could one die gracefully? COuld one exit one's life without being rude? I mean, you are in the middle of something, living your life, relatively interacting with other people, and you just die, just because?

Life is an eternal job to accomplish...but the worker cannot ever complete it. Life goes on even when we pass away. Our natural clock starts to unwind, our visions blur, our ears starts to not hear, and our brain loses its grasp of reality, locking us with our own memoirs and demons that we have created from the past.

I wonder if there is someone who calls the shots as to whose turn it is to die...scary.

how about you catea? How do you want to die?