I was out yesterday - and i saw a lot of foreigners with their Filipina partners. And these various thoughts invaded my mind...
- Are they (meaning caucasian or black foreigners) choosing asian mates becuase we are "small" and our culture dictates that we become submissive?
- Is it because they are young (asian females in this type of relationship are mostly young, just a few years above 18 or so)?
- nice couple --- he is young!
- where did he find her? --net, clubs, malls?
- what the heck is he thinking? (especially if the girl is not that pretty and the guy is)
- so that's exotic for him? (again at an aesthetic level -- yes, I'm shallow!)
- why are they walking so far apart?
- why is he not holding her hand?
- why is she dressed that way?
- why is he bald?
- he walks funny
- nice purse
- are they really in love?
Sexually speaking - asians are small compared to caucasian and black women. If anybody read my re-post on "Does penis size matter?" - we are, in diameter, a half inch or so smaller to caucasian girls and 1-1.5 inches smaller than black women. Paired with our own race, we do fit perfectecly -- on average, asian men are smaller by half inch to caucasians and caucasians are half inch smaller compared to black men. So sexually speaking, asians may tend to be more attractive to caucasian/black men because not only do most asian women look exotic with their yellow or mocha skin, they will be 'tight' for them until the woman becomes adjusted to their size.
The west has a stereotype over asian women that's called the "china doll stereotype" where women from both Far East & South East Asia are portrayed as exotic sexual beings...like felines...who visually yawns and secretly plots...
the China doll stereotype and other variations of this submissive stereotype exist in American movies: "Geisha Girl/Lotus Flower/Servant/China Doll: Submissive, docile, obedient, reverential (including Asian men as effeminate, servile); Vixen/Sex Nymph: Sexy, coquettish, manipulative; tendency toward disloyalty or opportunism; Prostitute/Victim of Sex Trade/War/Oppression: Helpless, in need of assistance or rescue; good-natured at heart." wikepedia
Of course, this is not a learned observation and I am just expressing an opinion based upon what I am noticing and what I have read -- some pieces of useful junk I've found in books and over the net. Just because it made sense to me - doesnt mean it is the absolute truth.
Ok, now that I've written the disclaimer, I'm more comfotable to babble. wehehhe! don't wanna get sued, you know.ANd if you ever stubbed your toe and lost your foot because what I'm ranting here is making you choke, I am in no way liable for your clumsiness.
(where was i?)
Culturaly speaking, asian women, in their patriarchal prisons have learned the art of pleasing their men. We please our men, although the rise of feminism is rampant these days, a lot of women have yet to know and believe their rights as human beings. Generally speaking, women do nag, rant, complain, have the ability to push you to bankcruptcy becuase of their expenditures -- my mom have this ability to talk like an machine gun - ratatatatatatatat! -- that makes my dad shakes his head -- but when the man of the house raises his right as the head of the household, most likely asian women bow down to the authority. It may not be willingly, but asian women recognizes the power of the male dominance in the family. You cannot expect the aisan woman to pack her bags immediately - she may argue, shout, complain - but it will take her a long time to leave her partner, even in the presence of physical abuse.
In terms of fidelity, most asian women would ask their partners to be discreet in their affairs to avoid any circumstances where it can shame the family. Children are taught to honor their fathers and are instructed to respect them, no matter what. Same goes with the mothers, but it is more important that the children look up to their dads. It is prevalent in an Asian household that children hold their tongue back until they are allowed to speak and argue with their parents, especially with their father...and it is always in a respectful manner and always without the presence of any guests. Children are taught to not defy their father in front of guests, if one chooses to do so, a harsh punishment is awaiting them. It is the honor of the father that his children show respect and it is his disgrace if any sign of imputence from his wife and family is shown in front of his friends and collegues.
Caucasian men on the other hand, have been stereotyped by asian women as promiscuous. Who date around and dating means sleeping around. Who sleep around, and sleeping around doesn't necesarily mean he is in a commitment.
Plus, I know someone who knows a taxi driver who hates foreigners becaase he gets to witness how foreigners change women everyday...so that's one point. And me personally, I saw this one caucasian guy, he was with this curly hairde asian girl, we were in singapore airport then, I'm going home to the Phil, he is riding the same plane -- and a few days later, when I was in Cebu and was with may friend, we saw him with a different girl...I think he recognized me, he didn't enter the restaurant we were in and opted to go somewhere else. Ok OK, I'm gossiping... erase erase erase
In terms of asian women committing adultery, I don't know. Although asian women has been portrayed in the west as "aggresive sexual beings" (what's that song again?..."a lady on the street but a freak in the bed" =P) in many movies, the life of a conservative asian woman is void of dates and friendly dinners with the opposite sex. It is a disgrace to her family to be seen with a man alone, except if it is her husband or son. Although this tradition is slowly changing as more and more young asian women are more and more open in terms of their views of life and relationships.
Things are really slowly changing though. Foreigners looking for Asian wives are more reciprocated especially in the provincial areas.
- A foreigner may look like a savior to a starving asian family (believe me, I've met people who makes sure she marries a foreigner a career).
- An angel to free her from her patriarchal prison.
- An adventure to see other places and acquire things she's only dreamed of for herself or for her family.
- A sacrifice she has to make.
- An introduction to a new culture she has never known...
- or it can be plainly because she has fallen in love over this strange man who embraces her culture regardless of its strangeness.
- Because she is in a situation that might pose as a problem in future relationships she'll have with men in her own race (separated, kids, etc.)
- etc. etc. etc.
The only thing that a foreigner must understand is that, when one marries an asian, he does not only marry the girl, but the whole family. He must not only please the girl but must be approved also by her family. And if she takes care of her, her loyalty is boundless and her respect is deep. Of course there are few exceptions --but i don't have time to discuss them.
so are they in love or what? if both are good to eachother -- sooner of later they might end up there...
so were you thinking what i was thinking?