The Kikay in Me

As much as I want to act tough and no matter how many times I steal my brother's clothes to wear them, I still like being feminine.

Yes, I usually have days where I just don on whatever is on the clothes rack and just paddle my way out of the house like an ugly duckling, swaddling and all.  I don't mind if I don't wear make up or I don't wear high heels on every party.  I even smuggle my trusty havas in parties because, as we all know, high heels have a way of straining our legs and patience.  But hey, women have high tolerance for pain, why do you think we end up with jerks sometimes?

I'm certified KIKAY. I love make-up, I adore shoes, and I drool over gorgeous men handbags.  I feel happy when, out of the blue, someone would say I look beautiful and healthy.  I find it interesting how I look and feel different when I dress up.  I get amazed at how tight dresses can make my waist smaller and my bust bustier...not that such clothing are advisable all the time, lack of oxygen due to tight wardrobe can be very dangerous.  You tend to say things you don't mean *haha.

One certified kikay thing I do is my penchant for skin cleansing kits.  Not that I religiously apply them, I just like having them around.  Makes me feel feminine...whatever that means.  I grew up with a mom that had a salon, so I grew up seeing beautiful women strut around.  I like watching women with beautiful faces.  I just don't like it when I begin to stare...they tend to get uncomfortable.  Even in my photography, I like taking photos of women's faces and features...it's just sexy.

But wanting to be sexy and growing up with brutes can have its disadvantages.  Although my mom had a salon I have barbarians for babysitters.  These monkeys cannot teach you how to dress well, let alone tell you if your make up is ok.  They think you are weird if you start to put on a blush.  And tend to smirk if you put on something girlish.  These men, however, walk around with pressed powders.  Don't ask me.  I never figured it out.

With those hopeless role models mentioned above, I found it interesting when I met ria of Shoppingera.net and Brendel of GetPrettified.com and hear them chat about girlie stuff.  I have been listening to them talk and have snitched out a few tips here and there...nyahaha!

Hell, didn't even understood what the heck a BBcream is until Brendel explained it.  And how the heck should I know that blushes come in different forms?! I know I grew up in a salon, but heck, these things don't exist then.

I remember, there is this one ad i cannot forget.  It played on my mind over and over again.  It's not something I pondered over...it's just something that I always remember without trying.  I read it in a magazine somewhere...it said..."Beauty is in the inside...but what about the outside".

I never understood it.

But gradually I realized that though it may not be wholly correct, it points to a certain truth.

How you look affects how people treat you.  If you look respectable, they treat you with respect.  If you look decent, they treat you decently.  Of course other factors come into play...

Dress decently and act like a monkey --- expect them to throw bananas at you.

That is life.

You can only play dress up for so long...

You have to have the right reasons also.

 Don't lose weight because it's the trend. Lose weight because you want to be healthy.

Don't buy dresses to make others envious.

Don't put on make up to make others feel ugly.

Don't use food money to buy make up.

Stay within your budget range.

Know the difference between being kikay and being a social climber.

Check yourself if you are being kikay or you are bordering narcissism.

As always, too much of everything is bad.

While being beautiful is just part of being kikay, it is also almost as subjective as love.  It's something one should explore and discover in one's self over time.  One's concept of one's self starts from the physical but eventually you gradually understand yourself beyond what you see in the mirror.

No one will hate you if you start to care for yourself.

Kill those zits and maybe along with it, self doubt might lessen.

Trim those eyebrows, put some balm on those lips, soften those hands with a salve, and scrub yourself smooth.

Start with those and slowly deepen your love for yourself.

I'm not saying the world will change and life becomes instantly beautiful.

 But when you feel good about yourself...suddenly,  you realize, you are not facing the same problems anymore ^.^

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