Silent Ode translated -- by Rene Caparas

RIA - Ballet @ Brent

I received a mail from a friend, Rene Caparas who beautifully translated my poem in Tagalog. He is also a poet and is currently taking a Ph. D course in NCPAG.  

date		: Thu, Jul 22, 2010 at 8:40 AM

subject:Translation for a better feel...ergo....very deep thoughts in the original finds no precise trans-litera-tion but I tried to show how it re-verberates in a new vernacular

Silent ode to the invisible

by Leah Valle 

tagalog translation by Rene Caparas

My lips are numb.

Ang labi ko ay manhid

My fingers are too stiff.

Daliri ko are napaka tigas

My eyes are dry.

Mga mata ko ay tuyo

My mind too weak to find excuses.

Isip koy mahina sa paghanap ng dahilan

My spirit too disillusioned to even dream.

Ispirito ko'y nalilito maging sa panaginip

So this is how one feels when one is at a loss.

Ganito ang nadarama ng isang nawawala

When one sees reality all too plainly.

Kapag namulat sa lantay na riyalidad

When one gets stabbed with the sharp truth.

Kung kailan ang punyal ay tumarak sa talim ng katotanan

Can I ask for immunity?

Maaari bang ako'y umiwas

From the pain?

Sa sakit

From the mounting hurt?

Sa bundok ng hirap

From the fear that chokes?

Sa takot na nakakalunod

Can I borrow?

Maari bang akoy manghiram

a shallow laugh to wipe the tears away.

Ng mababaw na tuwa pahiran yaring luha

a hallow hug to make the burden a little lighter?

Isang yapos paga-angin ang bigat ng kahit kaunti

a reckless moment where I can run so I can chase my floating dreams.

Walang pakundangang saglit tumakbo at habulin ang lutang na panaginip

a crayon to color the moments of solitude.

Isang crayola kulayan ang saglit na pag-iisa

a longer sleep to oblivion to wash the nagging truth.

Mahabang idlip sa kalayuan hugasan ang ulayaw ng katotohanan

Can I, just for once... pass through walls?

Kahit minsan lang, maaari bang tumagos ako sa dingding

...through people?

sa mga tao

...through time?

sa mga oras

to wander aimlessly...

magliwaliw walang patutunguhan

to touch the stars...

haplusin ang mga bituin

to burn with the sun...

masunog kasama ng araw

to laugh with the waves...

tumawa kasama ng mga alon

to conquer dragons...

hulihin ang mga dragon

to name new lands...

bigyan ngalan ang mga lupain

to create new worlds...

gumawa ng mga bagong mundo

humming silence wanders across the room and beyond.

anas ng katahimikan naglalagos sa silid at kalawakan

Along with it is my roaming mind, chasing the red diaries of the sane,

Kasama nito ang gumagalang isip, hinahabol ang pulang talaan ng mga di baliw

prevailing beyond the hateful reality of not being able to vanish upon will.

nagwagi lagpas pa sa galit ng realidad na di kayang maglaho sa tawag ng kagustuhan

All the while preparing the sheets...

Samantalang inihahanda ang mga kumot

tying them together, making sure it is roped correctly,

Itinataling magkakasunod, sinisigurong maging isang tunay na lubid

tied tightly to the window, as I prepare to jump to the little escape the world is offering.

Mahigpit na kapit sa bitana habang naghahanda sa pagtalon upang takasan kaunti ang buhay sa mundo

Outside, I see no one familiar.

Sa labas, wala ni isa man na kakilala

Outside, I will not be suffocated with lies that once drove me to madness.

Sa labas di ako malulunod sa kasinungalingan na minsa'y itunulak ako sa kabaliwan

Outside, no walls to abide and no bricks to scamper from...

Sa labas walang dingding na susundin at walang batong gagapangan

no cup to pour my blood on...no boxes to store my heart...

Walang tasang sasalo sa dugo kong tatagas, walang kahong magkukulong sa puso ko,

No smoke to make me cry.

walang usok na magpapaluha sa akin

Outside...where there is nothing to hold on to and everything is new.

Sa labas, kung saan walang mapanghahawakan at lahat ay bago

Where the strings no longer has its magic and the words pure and true

Kung saan ang tali ay wala nang mahika at ang lahat ng salita ay lantay at totoo (tulad ng ginto at walang kasingulingan)

[Note:  finally I found one piece of the puzzle that makes her photos lonely....In the academe we call this honest discourse and truthful dialogics similar to love poems that makes the poet vulnerable by exposing his innards.... ] <-- this is after he commented why I look lonely in my photos.