Friday, December 12, 2008

Twilight experience

I've heard so much about this movie...even the big-white-lump-that-follows-me-around-these-days commented on how a big hit this movie was in the states.

Being the curious cat that I am, I couldn't wait to get my ticket to watch and witness for myself the awesome-ness of Robert Pattinson as a vampire (hahah! you thought, it's about the movie?! =P- nope it was all about the guy)...

The moment he cme on screen i said to myself -- C E D R I C ? (is that you? hahah!)

Remember the lanky guy in harry potter that gets to die in the graveyard after being zapped? yep, that's him.

He admirably played dead and played the death thing so well that this time, in the Twilight movie, he's become the walking undead... but i have to admit, he is more gorgeous as a blood-sucking vampire (eeeehhhh!!!!!)

Cedric is definitely looking plain beside Edward Cullen --but the harry potter movie was stitched better than Twilight.

Which reminds me... watching Twilight is like watching a series of moving postcards -- also like watching paint dry, added the talking big white lump here beside me ( he just can't help himself, it is his therapy to express an opinion and may I add that he did said opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one -- somebody shoot me!)

But I do love the magnification and emotions and reactions in slow mo...reminds you of macro photography -- but this time, the subjects are feelings and expressions. The dragging feeling might have come from this direction, it has been used too much in the movie, it makes you wanna talk in slow motion too.

It has it's fast moments too... and when i say fast, i mean F-A-S-T.

The baseball scene for instance...nyeheheh! just saw an epiphany of what it would be like to play baseball with Superman and friends... without having to worry that you'll be the snack after the's kinda hard to play while at the same time, you're asking yourself who'll be the first one to grab your leg.

*They do take everything the extra mile.
When the scenes are slow, it's really dragging...but baseball game and fight scenes...were also very fast, your eyes would have a hard time following if someone who is in charge of the play button is messing with the rewind and fast forward.

But I love it. I love the cinematography of the movie...
the angles...the HDR effect...the way they used colors to differentiate characters, the magnified reactions, the slow motion turns, the classic 'james dean' expressions, the disheveled looks, the unusual angles, the postcard scenes...

and thus, the undead experience of Twilight, no matter how dragging in most parts was a generally a nice one...The dragging part is really it is eating the whole movie!!! but oh well... one cannot have everything

Plus the pale-skinned Edward Cullens was almost making me blush...hahay... his lines are giving me goosebumps though...hey I just turned twenty-five...and so I've left the teeny bumper boat seven years or so ago... I don't swoon anymore... I get curious... I get testy...and I now do research nyeheheheh!
hmmm...i think they can redeem this movie with a more interesting sequel...

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


the boundaries of having no boundaries is to know how far one can go about running the fields without going insane.

we are so set to put a barricade of contradictions in everything we do because we always expect things to stop sooner or later. But what if the stop to occur has no direct relation to the boundaries we set?

Thinking all the while that boundaries and limits help us regulate the stop we are expecting to occur, when in fact, it is the manifestation of fear to go out beyond what we do not understand.

Thus, the stop we are expecting is but an illusion and excuse to set ourselves in our comfort zone because we fear to go and explore that which we find strange...worse...things we cannot control.

One example would be the fact that we define ourselves.

Who am I.
What makes me ME?
and what makes me different?

So obssessed we are in defining ourselves and setting a different character to be identified from the commonalities of the human race.

I am myself. I am beyond what you think of me. I am more than what you see. I am more than a product of my relationships and decisions. I have a certain quality higher than that you percieve me to have.

Yet in my moment of confusion and anger, I see myself acting against the set of rules I have conveniently fenced around me.

That is definitely me.
But I see no one doing it aside from that shell that bore my face.

Is that me?
But it goes against the set of character I've learned to fence myself around with.

Can it be me? I would have known... I am myself. and on goes the debate...

We become trapped within the limits we set ouselves with... forgetting that we could easily lift it. That with one blow and it topples like cards...

so set me a boundary...
map me out and find me, like a rat, sniff my way out.

aut viam inveniam aut faciam

There are things that are opposite to eachother but are utterly inseparable...but the world has a unison of the differences that overlaps eachother.

In order not to get lost, we map ourselves certain lines of what is and what is not. But we often forget that the dichotomy of life, though real, is never hindering and it never will. Differences are just that, differences, they are not barricades, nor are they walls to alienate the world or the people around us.

And even with boulders positioned so that we may limit ourselves in terms of co existing and interacting, so we may preserve a certain sanctuary -- too sacred for others to insert themselves in...Trancendence is what we do best.

We draw the lines so we do not get lost as we live in this complicated world. But the lines are but imaginary. And the lines vary according to the map maker...

but the the lines can only do so much as bound those who've forgotten how boundless life can be.

so take me and ill show you how it is to be me.

Monday, December 08, 2008

hapi beerday to meee!

birthday photos !

now officially hit sweet sixteen (nyahahahah!)
it's a good beerday, my bestfriend cam home from Kuwait and
the weak minded one found a ticket back here.

just turned sweet sixteen...nyahahah suya! =P

more photos posted on flickr. click on the image =P

more photos coming up ^.^
thanks guys...

Monday, November 24, 2008

imperfectly perfect

in a daze but not confused.
the feeling is like seeing twisting colors in round soft marshmallows as it melts in soft gooey mush.
it's like being softly pushed and pinched...not hurting but rushes the heart to beat three times faster.
it's smells like chocolates and mint at the same time.
it's is as smooth as a pebble in a stormy cruel water.

you aim to clasp it but it slips right through your fingers.
you have a notion that you own it but you can never openly mark it as yours.
it's like knowing a secret you know you'd carry with you down the grave...

it's tearing you apart.
it's warming you up.
it's makes you frown in a minute.
but can quickly jest you up in a second.

and as you feel the smooth caress of it's reality on your skin.
as you feel the dampness of your forehead being wiped.
you wish...that time would stop...
closing your eyes, pretending it did...
laughing softly at the irony of it all

so how can you say goodbye?
to something u do notunderstand?
to someone you do not know?
to a situation too fast to follow?

it never really stopped to kiss you hello
but it stole a fraction of your eternity
occupying your mind with questions you cannot ask.

it's like watching the rain pour down
as you melachonly think about the soft closing of the door
trying not to think about the footsteps u hear...
pretending that your thudding heart is nothing but an echo of an imagination.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

for shounen: wanna be a dealer?

Got this from my shoutbox ^.^

17 Nov 08, 13:11
shounen: hi, was gogling about PAGCOR and your site came up. I want to be a dealer ($$$) and just wanna ask where your nephew applied for

hmmmm... didn't know that a lot people wants to be a dealer... aside from superior math skills, you are supposed to have an immune system so strong because you will be a passive smoker 8 hrs of your life during your weekday shifts and 12 hrs on a weekend shift... working every night, dealing cards, looking like a ghoul each night you stay awake...or something ^.^

anyways, to answer shounen...

My nephew went to Pagcor Office, in Cabaguio. If you know the Maharlika Foundation Office, Pagcor is located on its left side. I remember, trying open Pagcor's office expecting to see my son's surgueon...only to be told by the guard that I'm opening the wrong door. You see, the office is in the same building with Maharlika Foundation...Actually the building is called Maharlika Building...hmmm...what's a Sweepstakes/Casino thingie doing there? -- oh right! they do charity works too....maybe that's the reason why they are beside the Maharlika Foundation. Maharlika Foundation does free operations here in Davao CIty, by the way, in case you guys who are reading this is not familiar with the org. They do medical missions every year I think...

Going back to being a dealer...

They don't publicly display their requirements let alone announce if they need one. I suggest for people who dream to be a casino dealer to take BS Math, studying math for four years might do the trick (waaah!)

I think you need to have a backer.

You know, that someone to steal ur resume from under the pile to put it on top. The one who paints a picture of you to the one who's in charge deciding who to give the job to that even leonardo da vincci will feel insecure of your being perfect in the tongue of your backer.

Tagem... hehehe.

If you just pass your resume without a good backer to take it out of the stack and slam it on whoever desk that must read that part of your life, it will go unnoticed as if it doesn't exist.

Giving your resume to the salty fish vendor would prove to be more productive coz he can use it to wrap te fish, if that's the case...

In almost all cases, backers are needed by applicants, not just in this type of job. and while this ensures the company a close knit set of closes the new applicants' chances of penetrating certain jobs regardless of how good one is.

It all then becomes one big game of chance for others and a stack of privileges for the few-- or something... or am i wrong?

anyways, I've searched the net to find out people writing about being a table supervisor and found one good answer to a post:
by Archgold
I am an ex-casino dealer in Pagcor. I was amazed sa mga inquiries sa taas. Well let me give my views.

You cannot apply directly to the Corporate office for the position of table supervisor. Someone must back you up. So if you think you can get hired just by passing your resume, forget it.

They "rarely" post job vacancies on newspapers kaya good luck.

Yes, nasa 20 to 30K ang pwedeng matanggap ng isang casino dealer and inclusive with meals during your shift and tip na rin.

I have worked as a TS for more than a year din and the reason I left is personal -- akin na lang yon.

Masaya sa casino lalo na pag Christmas season dahil sa mga bonuses etc.

In an 8-hour shift, almost 2 hours ang breaktime mo.

Other than those I mentioned above, let me say here the not so positive side.

1. Work here is shifting, like in call centers, and it's toxic when you are at night shift. Dami tao siyempre at night and especially weekends. At the start of the shift, each TS is assigned to a particular table.

2. If you've never been a passive smoker all your life, you will be when you work in the casino. In CF-Pavilion where the ceiling of the gaming area is so low, you may think you're in the middle of a fog unlike the gaming area in Cebu. So trip mong lumanghap ng passive smoke 6 hours per shift, pasok ka dito.

3. If you are the type of person who desires to climb the corporate ladder of success, I don't think casino is the best place. Once you become a TS, the next level up is the assistant gaming area manager or AGAM. AGAMs are relatively fewer compared to the table supervisors and unless you are a very prolific table supervisors backed with a recommendation from Malacanang, forget being promoted as AGAM. Why? -- There are many Senior table supervisors ahead of you by years and years of experience, most of them have reached their 40s and 50s still working as a table supervisor.

4. Are you the person who is always up for a challenging work and career? If yes, being a card dealer is not the job for you. With the routine, repetitive nature of your work, it gets very robotic and mechanical as months and years go by. At first, when I was new at my work as a TS, it was really exciting for me. Everyday, I learn something new and the surroundings and the environment never fail to fascinate me. But I realized as time went by I felt stuck. If I worked in a call center company, I would have greater chances of being promoted to the top compared to the casino. It's not really worth your time.

5. Are you the person who loves to please and entertain people? Well you might enjoy being a casino dealer then. You love to please every caprice, whim, and idiosyncrasy of the gamblers? You might fit in here. As for me, no way. These gamblers suck! A brood of greedy people always ready to gamble on whatever money they have on their hand for the empty thrill of winning in the casino -- I dont want to say anymore.

6. I have met in this place some of the most ill-bred and ill-mannered people you could ever think of! Cmon what do you expect to find in a casino anyway? Of course there are few exceptions and oh my they are very few indeed. You like working with co-employees who are "balahura" and "*****" plus arrogant and know-it-all superiors? Apply in the casino.

Before I end let me just say this... If you are a person with talent and ambition in life, working here should not be an option for you. Dont waste your talent in exchange for a secure job and just a "decent" income. It's not worth it. Working abroad is still a better option.

There are many opportunities around now so unless you're so desperate of your situation, dont get in here, especially if you think that your personality would not fit in.

I can say that during the time I worked in the casino, I could never boast of it to any of my relatives or friends. It's one of my biggest regrets in please dont it be one of yours too.
hope you find that post a source of good info ^.^

anyways, on my first post on this topic, I gave out a link that made me dizzy... here it is: online kasino

if you can go and browse and not get dizzy... you might have a future for future lies where the videoke machine is... good luck to the neighbors =P

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

see me now.

so what am i accountable for?
in this life of ruins where people are taught to wait for a tomorrow that never really comes.

what am i to fear? when I can only speak for myself and everything else becomes what i want it to be.

what am i to ask?
when I do not know what really makes me happy.

What is happiness anyway?

absurdly treading this part of my life where I've become a warrior of many things. But battles being fought for people you find special are very hard to do -- especially when they themselves are letting themselves get caught to be killed.

I tried so hard to design my life to please others while i secretly sneak out to glutton over things that i find enjoyable to kill my time.

But It's always the same.

Year after year.

Old Friends.
New Friends.

Day after day, I still get impatient with the same old routine even with new faces to bear.
i find it a burden to hear people in ways where they find themselves unhappy of the state they are in.

But I cannot forever extend myself.

I cannot forever keep the basin of loneliness i feel because i do not find it in myself to walk away from the miseries of others.

I am in no way soft hearted.
I am not sentimental either.

However, I find it disturbing to see people getting stuck in that part of their lives and seeing that they don't even know it.
but it seems as if I am most apt to destroy characters, but then again, one can only destroy that which is brittle.
That's why when one locks to destroy, one focuses on nothing but the weaknesses.

so what am i to do?
I bang the wall, to find if it is sturdy enough.
It stands tall still...My wall is as strong as ever, but that never stopped me from banging a hole. Sooner of later, it will crumble...if that happens, what then?
will that make me realize?
what will that make me?

but what are they doing?
i am confused. i get lost just as i tangle within the sheets of my mind.
are they thinking what i'm thinking?
do they know that i am but a shell of confusing characters, trying to get hold what reality is all about...

excuse me...but do you know me?
because i've been looking for answers but until now, i cannot find one.

I become the people i am with.
that's why whenever i find myself alone, i find it hard to fit in.
i become the wall i am stuck with when no one is around.
forever an unwilling witness of other people's lives.
eternally immovable.
carefully listening.
vibrating with secrets.
basking in silence.
carefully waiting for the right moment...

Saturday, October 04, 2008

picking myself apart - literally...

So when was the last time i blogged about anything? i can't remember.

why am i blogging today? simple.

My nose hurts, my hand hurts...and I am to blame.

Rather than scratch my nose so that it bleeds again -- it is bleeding for almost two weeks now, or take a pin to poke my hand because i don't want to scratch my nose, I'd rather write about how I want to scratch those two parts and how I won't because I might end up losing a nose...or worse - growing another one. waaaahhhh!

blame my ever so curious self. I once remembered my dad telling me that I'm like a monkey...I like to poke and pin and re-arrange stuff - just because. No -- I'm not a neat freak...I'm just --- oh well...what's the word? annoying. hahaha

I annoy people.That's what I noticed.hahaha!

I don't purposely annoy them. They purposely annoy themselves by occupying their time on looking and deciphering me and what i do.

My assistant is annoyed to see me poking my nose...He noticed I have moved from in front of the mirror for almost half a day now. He did pointed out the fact that my nose is already bleeding and that poking it more will surely be a big step towards infection. The toothpick is not helping either, nor the toner on my left hand will do better to salvage me from picking myself apart -- literally.

Now you see, it all started with me, brushing my hand on my nose. Then I felt a bump...hmmm...a pimple...then I rushed to the mirror...couldn't see it, but definitely can feel it...hmmm...poke it with my finger...with my nail...with a pin...and two weeks later, its become a pool of blood and skin...and everything in between.

Does it hurt? not really...

is it addictive - super yes.
I can't sleep without checking if it's healed already...and before i know it...I'm pokign it open again...just so I could feel that pricking sensation of lifting a part of the scab...

I'm hopeless.
I need someone to save me from myself...but nobody is sick enough stop me... it's because I end up poking their faces in the end. Trying to get that pesky blackhead I see...or I'd be scratching to just woggle the white heads I's an addiction I find myself hooked into these days...and I have to stop. It's not productive and it's making me cranky!!!! coz i look like i jsut had a noselift and the stitches on the side got infected. would have been funny if it's not my nose we are talking about....waaaahhh!!!

but that doesn't stop my friends from laughing.... arrrggghhhh!!!! =P

Thursday, September 11, 2008


hi guys, am in manila right now - and gosh, do i miss davao. this city is waay too expensive for me! waaahhh anyways, i arrived yesterday afternoon and ill be here till the 12th-- and it feels like an eternity already. well, maybe because i'm bored, it seems as if all my friends migrated somewhere far from i was holed up in my room last night waiting for something to fall from the sky -- or the cieling, rather. I'm happy nothing happened though, the management wouldn't let go of me then if i don't pay up for the damage...and that is trouble waaahhhh

anyways, that is not the reason for this post, but that is a good rant. i needed that... now i feel better.

and for the news of the day: i've officially migrated to -- it is still not fully done, but hten again, sites are always half-baked...we always find something to tweak everytime the urge to do so is felt. and we almost always feel it when we look at our sites, don't we all? but yes, find me there... i've imported my posts from here... so u can just browse...and get lost. im still making the navigation friendly enough hehehe!

i'm having slush for breakfast! well, that is something davao doesn't have ^.^ ok so im kinda happy now ^.^

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Sample Photos for our upcoming calendar and photobook collection

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Gambling and mental sharpness

My nephew, a registered nurse, and a computer science graduate (yes, the tendency to take multiple courses runs in the blood) took an exam to be poker dealer for PAGCOR. Well, He took an exam to be nurse for PAGCOR and he passed --- that is not the point. PAGCOR was also giving out tests, all math-related...and if you passed, you get to be a dealer. Now why the heck do u want to be a dealer? simple, aside from the tips you get, the salary is basically higher than that of the nurse's. What's the catch? you have to pass the test first. Easy? sure, you just have to mentally calculate complicated mathematical equations. Perfect. and oh, my nephew failed...along with the whole batch who took the test. *ahahaha! Not a very bright bunch...

we get to laugh at it because the whole group failed...if he was the only one who failed...I would not have laughed as much as I did, I'd be plotting to murder him because of the disgrace he's brought to the family.

Ironically, we are a family of accountants. My dad, my three 3 brothers, my sisters, not to mention my in laws. We had an accounting firm and I see people of great skill in math coming in and out of the house everyday...Sadly their genius on numbers did not rub on me...or on my nephew.

My dad and his friends also has this monthly casino thingie that they do for charity. I never was able to attend those...well, mingling with people who cannot hear you is not fun, so I was not motivated... (nyehehehe)

Anyways, I stumbled on an online casino thingie -- ooops, i didn't know that, never thought that online casinos are existing... I mean, I've seen stuff and I've seen advertisement, but never really thought it as a huge got lulled at how complicated it is. Click on the link to see what I mean. They have instruction and manuals that makes me wanna say waaaahhhh!!!!

It looks fun though , and i got into browsing it and stuff...and got dizzy for a moment.

One thing I noticed though is that, gambling, whether its online or not, creates a great requirement -- one must be a genius in mental calculations. I used to look at people gambling as something weird, but the inner workings of the game and the brain ticking behind their very composed posture is something I did not expect to be very sharp.

It's not actually a matter of luck, but a matter of being able to calculate your opponents "cards" by studying his throws and his expression and posture. That's why, they sit still, expressionless, and more like a statue than a player, because every sense of given emotion and expression is actually a variable for them to understand what numbers you may have in front of you. of course...this is no mental telepathy, and this is not really that accurate, but isn't math also about probabilities?

as the chinese say, they don't try their luck...they gamble. Pretty accurate in terms of how we're supposed to face the future, right?

Please nod. Perfect.
It's not a matter

Saturday, August 09, 2008

let me round you guys up...

We will be having an event where all business owners, budding enterpreneurs, and all people who are thinking of starting up their businesses are invited. No, it won't be a business convention, it's gonna be a party where business cards exchange is required. There will be performers and a little fashion show to entertain everyone.

This is a party as an introduction to next year's high profile business event where we would only exclusively invite business owners who participated on this party to meet with invited foreign guests and investors.

Will post details when date and time is confirmed.

Sponsorship is welcome. contact me for details,

We will be printing calendars and a photo book featuring our sponsor's products and services with their business details and contact information.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

camping up for wordpress

WordCamp Philippines

never thought
newsletter and the like are actually that important, until i learned about this upcoming event for september.

When I received my update of posts from the mindanao blogger's community newsletter my eyes just swept on the current discussion taking place...and hola, I saw the word wordcamp in flashing lights similar to that of the 60's old cabaret headers that shouts the name of the performers entertaining tonight...except that wordcamp cannot dance like sexy doesn't have feet to begin with...but this one word has brought out an excited flutter of feelings within me...that i can almost see me raising my leg alternately doing the new york, new york routine. Not that I know how to...but hey tyson bit his opponents ear and i forgave him, why can't i do a fab routine in a sucky way and can't be forgiven...and besides, well-kept heartaches are deadly, it can result to a heart attack -- see? sentimental dudes don't last that long on this earth... they either get hit by a bus becuase they are not very mindful of where they are going or they just go eck! as they fall forward (if the attack didn't kill them, the rock hitting their head when they hit the ground surely will -- heeh morbid)...

anyways, going back to the real reason of this post --

attending the wordpress camp in manila is obviously the first choice to be able to attend a formal event in terms of blogging and stuff for me...and although it is just an hour flight from davao - acquiring a ticket -- no, spending money to buy a ticket, getting a hotel room, being in a place i could never ever understand the directions, and being in the middle of people talking in tagalog fluently when i have a hard time composing tagalog sentences and saying them correctly, accent-wise, is a risk I've been brooding over these past few weeks...

apparently, i'm not alone...turned out majority of us living in davao cannot go to manila for various reasons
-- my gosh, it would be a sight to flock in NAIA all speaking in visayan, with the exception of few people who would try to speak in tagalog regardless of the hard southern accent -hehee (we'd drive the guards crazy...) -- by virtue of luck and wishful thinking -- WordCamp is crawling its way here! wohoo!

I just registered and am happy I did. I wonder what type of event this will be... I bet almost all of the bloggers attending will individually haul their laptops as they grope to simultaneously apply whatever bitty-boo taught by whoever-wordpress-master- is-in-charge-of-scrambling-our-poor-brains. Regardless if how it will be, I bet it will be something I'll be very happy about, scrambled brains and all. (Eoow, i just had a vision of someone opening the upper part of my head, as if it was a lid, and stirring it with my brains turning all goooey....gross).

anyways, wordcamp will be one sept. 4, 2 days before the manila wordpress camp...nyeheheh! so that means
Matt Mullenweg, the founder of Automattic, is coming first before he face the blogger crowd of manila in WordCamp Philippines 2008 ...

that means, if all of us, Davao Bloggers, unite to capture him and put him in a sack, to hang from a sturdy jackfruit tree, the wordpress camp in manila is gonna be missing one important person... the most important guest in their event, actually...

I wonder if he goes missing, will they be able to figure out that their beloved Mr. Mullenweg is missing in action...will they be able to find him on time before the victim gets a stomachache from his hanging jackfruit buffet ?-- or before the bow breaks... whichever gives in first...

i'm just kinda confused with the schedule...on the registration form, it starts around 6pm-10pm...when you click the starts early...or i just missed something? -- like the two sets of activities are actually happening on different dates? sheeesh... now i'm embarrassed... help?

anyways, here are the list of the sponsors that made this all possible to happen:
ps - please don't mind that it is being posted in blogger -- this blog baby has already been a personal favorite not for any specific reason -- anyways, i'd like to make it clear that i do have a wordpress blog...

really =D

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

chaos, the universe, and i

The complexities

what's the difference between the universe and I?

at a glance, the universe and i look look chaotic.

Let me correct that. It is true, that the universe and I stay to look chaotic even if you stare at us for an hour or so. And we will remain to do so for the rest of your life, if you dare to just look for the rest of your life.

the underlying order in the existing chaotic way I live my life, is the same to the system the universe is using. The silent relationship of give and take that's happening between me and the cosmos is something I have yet to deeply understand, but only now do I see it unfolding as I unfold.

You see, I am a woman who loves to study other people and their personalities, not to make fun of them -- but because I find it interesting how differently people react to the same thing we all have and this one thing we all share -- it's what we call life and world.

I easily catch manners and detect abnormalities in the situation. A certain look passed between two people. a certain smile, a certain reply...I can easily spot the not in a situation in terms of human relations. That's why I don't ask...I assume...this is a game i play silently with other people...hmmm what is he up to now?

Being alive means many things for everybody and the world can be as colorful or can be as desaturated -- depending upon one's perspective.
The composition of my thoughts and action and its relevance to my life and decisions are strings not available for others to scrutinize unless I opened it up for anybody to criticize. The private me is a certain show I rarely put on stage.

I am not terrified of being scrutinized but I find it irrelevant and inconsequential. Little did I know, this is a product of me being scared to test my capabilities. One example is that, If someone gives me a project, I can deliver it, more than what is expected. I can spearhead it for the other person, plan it according to what he may want, act on it according to his tastes and preference...Ask me to lead even a small team for a project that originally came from me, my knees buckle and i call in sick. i will change that. soon.

one person commented on how i look scattered. I was about to say the same thing about him too... except that he believes otherwise... He know what he wants and what he is doing...just as I know what I want and what I am doing...

His need to re-arrange my life according to what he can understand, is a need he must do, not for me, but for himself. This need if he acted on it, will benefit him, he will begin to see me flawlessly as I strut in this life. However, I will feel broken. His order is my chaos, just as my order is his.
The perfection of the moment I am experiencing can only be perfect in its perfect sense to me, others may try to understand, other may actually understand a little, but never will they look at it the way i see it.

Just as the unverse chaotically choose to exist, my chaos is partly a result of a certain system relaive to my existence and also partly an acquired choice.

No one needs to understand it not even me, just as no one needs to understand yours. There are somethings that we must answer to socially. The community requires the individual to do so,however, the creativity of one's life as one lives it is beyond time and space. And so if you see me jumping up and down the bed, you don't need to know the reason why...just join in if you feel it's fun ^.^

a more refine post on this one when I wake up. *tsup!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Drinking Coffee the Kangaroo Way...

Books & Brew with a special
dropping in between...

Hopped my way towards this new coffee shop at Tionko last night, and was hopping excitedly with a promise to taste this "Kape Balos" that Kangaroo Coffee Company is now offering, is making my left eye twitch... Kape Balos or Kape Alamid, as it is more widely known, is something I've heard of a few years ago but I never really had the chance to taste it.

When I reached the place, it was many people. It's my first time at the Kangaroo hole and I heard it's new, but I never expected it to be very busy.

The ambiance was nice...the people friendly
(don't ask the guard though, he will just answer you with a one word: ha?) ^.^

The best thing about this place is that it offers books for you to read.

Heartbroken? read the inspirational books, tired and depressed? grab the self-help books. They tend to keep the reading light but something that will make the customers feel good.

Books and coffee shops have long been partners but this is the first coffee shop that I've seen here in Davao that offers books.
Reminds me of Border, a bookstore in Singapore, cool place,...and they won't bother you if you read and read...problem is, it is so big you wouldn't know where to start...

Anyways, this is a cool concept, it brings not only coffee lovers together but intellectuals as well... So the place becomes alive with discussions and stuff, this type of setting will sooner or later gather an interesting pool of people with various talents, opinions, and perspective...

Soon people will come to this place not because of the coffee but because this place has become a part of them in terms of their learning process with coffee drinkers as their peers and the couches and tables as their collective space. The place, if properly managed and allocates time to providing a venue for intellectual growth will flourish not as a business establishment but as a second home with with friends as clients.

service with a smile

Hehehe! Not that I have a very interesting social life but if ever I am to have a life, I'd rather socialize with people I'm comfortable with in a place I find cozy...And it's always the people the creates the atmosphere...So when I drink my fair share of coffee, cafe latte in particular --
well more of milk with a little coffee --- and someone says something funny, that forces me to laugh unexpectedly making the liquid to come out of my nose --- I'd rather have it trickle down in front of people who will laugh with me ... Fortunately (or unfortunately, whichever is apt) I don't belong to the group of coffee drinkers who periodically experience spasm and epileptic attacks if their daily dose of coffee was not met...

Wait, Why was I in Kangaroo in the first place?

-- Civet coffee, Kape Alamid --- o
Oh, did I mentioned that i hopped in a few minutes late?(what's new huh?)...when i reached our table i saw Blogie and Kuya Migs, Bob Martin and his adorable wife Feyma. The KULIT Tandem - Chattee and her shaolin monk who clicks on his cam as if there is no tomorrow-- arrived a few minutes later.

photography by Chattee

THE COFFEE. Kape Balos is Kangaroos' edge against other coffeeshops. Believe me, this coffee is one heck of a coffee. It is interesting and I don't only mean the flavor...but let me start with that....

The FLAVOR: I find Kape Balos strong for my taste, but then again I'm the One-cup-of milk-with-coffee-please-girl, you know... I'm proud to say that I didn't faint and even had more than one cup --- but generally speaking, it was not strong , The strength is dependent on the saturation, i think (correct me if i'm wrong)... You can, I think, request for stronger brews to give your palate the flavor it is looking for.

I've noticed that almost all coffee lovers are also weirdos who like stronger brews aside from them being aroma freaks...I know someone who brews his coffee so strong that the mere sniff of it makes me faint... It is so saturated that if you serve it in a wake, it would push the dead to get out of the coffin, drag its carcass around, just so he/she could slap you
(wala nay mu-abuloy kung makuyapan pud ang nibisita tungod sa kape hahah!)..

Going back, the beans was roasted well,thus, no burnt or bitter aftertaste, and the taste becomes better after every sip. Interestingly, the taste doesn't change -- you know how the taste of coffee changes when you drink it first and then you eat something, and then you take a sip again? In this case, the food enhances the taste of the coffee without altering it... Expect it to be musty and with rich jungle undertones).

Kuya Migs noted how it goes well with the (Chamomile?) tea.

As for the is chocolatey ( i love chocolates kaya 2 thumbs up sa aking ang kapeng ito!), elegantly bold but not heavy handed, kinda nutty (i think)... It was served without sugar and cream, you can put some if you like, but try drinking it first without the sweeteners, you'd be surprised.

Anyways, Kape Balos is not suited to be served everyday. The dead will die again if you do so... why? it's so freakin expensive you'd have a stroke.

Estimated to be commercially priced around
P10,000 (yes, ten thousand pesos) for half a kilo (yes, you read it right, tunga ra sa kilo), when I heard of it last 2003, it was priced around $600 per pound.

Kape Balos or Kape Alamid as it is widely known is actually the most expensive coffee in the world. Kangaroo offers a it for Php300 a cup -- expensive? not really, in other places, people are actually paying $50 a cup.

If you find the price interesting, wait till I tell you how it's made...hehehe!

In case the word Balos or Alamid is a word not part of your vocabulary, let me then happily inform you that those are words pertaining not to the finest arabica ( Liberica or Exelsa) coffee beans that this expensive coffee is made of.

Balos or Alamid is the proper name of a wild feline, nocturnal by nature and is an expert in sniffing the ripest and sweetest coffee cheries to glutton over.


No, the alamid or musang is not being used to find the best coffee cherries the way a hound dog is slaved over to locate a prey...
One harvests the coffee by picking the droppings of the creature...You can read the last line again, I wouldn't mind ;D

Indigenous Tribesmen from the mountains of Matutum gather the Civet's droppings early in the morning, most likely before the sun would rise... they'd clean it, then roast it, and then make coffee out of it...mmmm...yummy. hehe! ;D

Why the heck would people pay so much money for coffee harvested from a wild cat's droppings?

Aside from the fact that humans are actually gross, this process of the coffee cherries -- being eaten, then digested, and then finally excreted, is a process that prepares the beans for it to taste the way it does-- exuding an almost musical, fruity aroma - dark and sweet, -- strong, chocolatey, and just perfect even without sugar and cream.

High levels of proteins is the reason why coffee beans become bitter upon roasting, but the Civet, upon digestion breaks the protein down giving the Kape Balos it's superior taste.
That's why I wasn't really surprised when Mr. Mark Seng, part owner of the establishment, noted that the best coffee is the type that you can drink and savor without the artificial sweeteners.

You would notice also that the liquid looks reddish rather than brown (reminds me of mangosteen tea, actually). The color is due to the the biochemicals present upon digestion -- a factor why a change of color takes place.

This natural process makes the procurement of these types of beans scarce but the demand for this coffee is high, thus, the reason for such high price...
Did you say high demand?! yes, I did - there's a lot of crazy people in the world you know...and this is some weird craze...
Heck, I'd try it just so I could say I tried a coffee that once passed through some creature's ass
IT being actually edible and the fact that it is the best tasting coffee in the whole world is a sure sign that there is some higher power watching over freaks like me who is willing to do crazy stuff just because....

but sadly these animals can only collectively
poo 250 kilos of coffee beans worldwide per annum... You cannot do anything till the animal does its thing... the phrase "patience is a virtue" is an apt mantra for this.

Seriously, there is a sanitation process involved but extensively cleaning the beans with simple running water is enough to dislodge bacteria... Also Kangaroo being a legit establishment, will not offer you a ticket to the bathroom --- but this makes you wonder, before the sophisticated sanitation process, before the wonders of technology in terms of brewing, who first thought of trying the droppings as a possible source coffee? ( I don't want to imagine -- but THANK YOU for people like that...)

So did I scare you or what? Here's a suggestion of what you could do... gather your friends and head collectively to
Kangaroo (it's in front Sunburst, at Tionko Street) order one cup and take turns sipping it and watch eachother in amazement the way Spongbob and Patrick would in a similar are not allowed to laugh like spongebob though...but yes oggle and let your eyes glimmer until you all turn yellow.

Oh, here's another, make it an initiation rite. When I was still in high school branding according to one's group is one of the most important thing to achieve a certain social status... I'm sure in many levels and ages, such is still existing in various forms
(anyways, let me stop myself before I delve into the mysteries of peer and labeling)....

where was I? oh - the initiation...
HE WHO DRINKS THE Balos COFFEE IS A TRUE MAN... with a tagline, it is one thing to be called an ass, but it is another to drink from one...true men do the latter... o di bah! bongga!

  • For the Social Climbers, order a mug and keep the receipt for future show off...
  • For Intelligence Officers, this cup of coffee can actually be an effective psycho warfare technique... (umamin ka na o oorder ako at ikaw ang pagbabayarin ko!)
  • For the ones who slave over article writings and deadline chasers - the strength of the price and the coffee is enough to keep you guys awake.
  • For the insomiac, celebrate some of your sleepless nights with class and style...drink it with your pinkie up ;)
  • For the bookworms and the nerds, invite your rich friends and let them order Kape Balos while you tag along and read for free...
  • For the humanitarian and the socially aware, ordering a cup is actually helping the indigenous tribes who gather these beans in their livelihood, these beans produces an income that promotes welfare and pushes civic development amongst the community, it is also raising an awareness to protect the Civet or Alamid, and is helping in protecting them and their habitats.
Whatever reasons you may have, or whatever reasons you may not have, do find time -- hop your way at this interesting establishment... and try the darn coffee, will you? because the Civets are not gonna stay here forever. You might find enough curiousity to try it one day only to find that the coffee is not available anymore because the creatures involved are already extinct...that would be a shame.

If you tried it, and you find it not suitable to your taste...fine...order something else (wala may pugsanay bleah!)...


If you see a lanky guy
with chinky eyes & wears glasses

He is the part-owner
Mr. Mark Seng...

He is mainly in-charge of the discounts
so be nice to him


Monday, July 07, 2008

iPhone 3G is almost out!!!

When iPhone came out, I was salivating at it...Now.? tulo japon akong laway hahaha!

I mean who wouldn't want a revolutionary phone with a widescreen iPod that is also internet capable (rich HTML email plus desktop)...but heard that it was having i abstained --biting my lip and holding on to my money so that I wouldn't give in to the tempation of buying something beyond what I can afford...and regret afterwards...

but I stumbled on an article that stated the next gen of iPhone, to be called IPHONE 3G will be now be released in 22 different countries this JULY 11...but that is not what I am excited about...what made me scream was that its price was to start at $199 eeeeehhhhhh!!!!!!!

ang pangutana, pila kaya ang patong ani pag abot sa atoh...tagem...

(Black model, 8gb is $199 while the white one with 16gb is $299)!

New features of iPhon 3G
  • Faster, 3G data networking. One demo took 59 seconds on the old EDGE network, 21 seconds on the iPhone 3G, compared to 17 seconds on WiFi. Apple claims it’s 26% faster than competing models from Nokia and Treo.

  • Longer battery life. 300 hours standby, 10 hours 2G talk, 5 hours 3G talk, 5-6 hours browsing, 7 hours video, 24 hours audio.

  • Better audio. No details were available on this.

  • Integrated GPS, including live GPS tracking.

it will be available on july 11, 8am in these countries:

iPhone 3G will be available in these countries later this year...


Saturday, July 05, 2008

misunderstood and out of context

I've gone AWOL from my family and friends last year because of the fact that I got pregnant (again?!). Aside from the fact that I was not ready to face them with their cross faces and insulting inquiries, I was not ready to face the subject of me being pregnant again.

I do realize the fact that babies are little miracles, however, you begin to think twice about it being miraculous if it's happening too often. Don't get me wrong, I am happy with my children, but if they only gave me the chance to re-schedule their grand entrances to this world, I'd have them really spaced out with a max of 4 years in between. Oh well...

My OB thinks I'm a a hard-headed idiot.

My kid's pedia thinks I'm just plain childish and careless,

My friends think I'm grabbing opportunities to be pregnant as if it was on sale -- with a major 80% slash off the retail price, My acquaintances have lost track already of the count but such memory deficiency is not holding them back from talking about me being pregnant for the nth time already.

My bestfriends are groaning "puhhhllleeeaassee....stop it!",.

My assistant rolled her eyes,

At least my little brother was indifferent...

And my mom...God knows what my mom was thinking...but let me tell is not very pleasant and mostly likely it involves a murder plot aimed to bring down a 6ft giant.

And so I abstained from any social contact and limited myself within the four corners of my home...It's not hard to do, I move in a very limited social circle anyways -- all i have to do is just to pull the strings tighter to make that social circle even smaller. The social tug of alienation began and my being an introspective and my cynicism only deepened.

I've learned to become more observant and to act blank when i meet new people (don't get me wrong I'm not the next Albert Einstein either). I learned something fascinating -- i noticed how people become so interesting when they think your dumb...They become careless and they ignore you giving you every opportunity to dissect their personality, put it under your subjective microscope, and gaze at it -- as it jump up and down, back and forth to your satisfaction...

This often amuse me and it would be cruel to talk about it with other I just remain silent in my corner if I'm ever in one of these rare occurences of meeting someone new...definitely spaced out with a semi-senile grin...Funny how they would all turn to look at me, as if on cue, every time I have this idiot smile on my face, an expression so out of place, that they'd shake their head in pity of me. nabuang na guro, ingon nila.

They'd ask me with feign interest and would give me a fake invitation to their conversation, a discussion I wasn't really listening to because I busy with my cruel scientific character disectomy --

"say, who do you think should win the final cup?"
"err, are we talking about the plastic one ? o kanang mabuak? mas gwapo jud nang mabuak kay dali lang limpyuhan..."

toink! minus 10,000 waffa points! naunsa man ka day oi! go home and plant camote nalang beh!

After a meaningful glance, and an eerie silence, they'd resume to their previous stance of verbal combat as they brush me off aside, not knowing what to do with me and doing everything to show me how to converse right -- just a little short in calling me dumb in my face.

I swear -- somebody would snap if I dared push even further. I can see their eyes twitching. HeHe.

But you see, it may sound as if I do it on purpose, the mistake was honest (yes, dili ko bogo, pero tanga jud ko gang haha!). I am not that mean to purposely irritate anybody -- i mean, i gave them a valid answer, their question, however, is wrong...I mean, oblivious to the ongoing conversation, How was I to know they were talking about some sports' world cup qualifiers...They assumed I knew...their fault they got a dumb answer.

Try asking me a question i know the answer of, and i'll hit the bulls eye. hehehe...i mean, You don't ask a gravedigger about the principles of ballet, you ask him about loam and earth and humidity, you inquire him of bones and stench and the peak season of dying, you cannot, for the life of him, make him gossip about ballet dancers unless,

  • one, the said dancers are dead.
  • two, he is a gravedigger cum ballet dancer -- tiptoeing his graceful ass in the cemetery --
the question then, is invalid and most likely to be out of context.

Anyways, let's leave the gravedigger alone...dli niya sala nga sa patay ra ang mudol niya, trabaho man niya na...neyehehehe... Moving on,Let us, however switch the channel to the number that airs
Grey’s Leah's Anatomy". --- Saw a friend night and we got into talking…turned out I stirred quite an interesting conversation amongst the medical staff after I gave birth. She informed me that there was an endorsement from me snapping to the resident doctor where I said “excuse me, I’m talking to my husband” (but if I remember correctly, I was so distressed to talk to anybody) to other various sundry stuff that is really not a big deal except that they find me to be a bitch and thus took the opportunity to glutton on me in their conversation.

Darn! I find it to be disturbing because I don’t remember being mean to anybody there except for that time when they were in a hurry to put me in surgery because my baby’s experiencing fatal heart distress but couldn’t find any of my guardian to pay for the down payment in the hospital. I was pushed to call my mom and I remember barking orders in terms of not shutting down my lappy to my brother to telling them that its impossible for us to give any down payment because it’s already 7pm and no bank is open. ( I was just 7 mos and my check up with my doctor turned out to be a major emergency operation) I was kinda explaining when some insensitive (more of tackless really) medical staff chided in with her one line bomb aimed and fired with every intention for it to explode into an insult -- “didn’t you prepare money for your delivery?!” That stopped me -- irked to bones; I dismissed her with a sharp look – am happy that I didn’t say anything sarcastic (but then again – didn’t I say that NO BANK is open?!) – she must be the kind to bring loads of cash when she goes out, I mean the lady can only be tackless and mean or just filthy rich, no one knows…

And so my opinion, from the highest of position to some of the low ranking help that was present during my surgery escapade clunked to the gutter (naka-una man gud bah hahaha!)… Needless to say, I’m going back to my old hospital.

But then again maybe I was mean to some and my memory just selectively forgot it. One way or another, I struck a nerve, and the nerve sang and choreographed a chorus resulting to an official soundtrack of me.


after a year of recluse and careful hiding, i managed to convince myself that it is now safe to go out. Drat! it was then the bullets started flying. Nanukad ra pud diay ang mga kagwang!