musings about US

i love you.
i love the way you love me.
i love the way you need me.
i love the way you teach me to need you.
i love how you make me listen to the humming of your soul.
i love how you make me taste the saltiness of your tears.
i love how you trust me with your life.
i love the way you teach me how to lean on you.
i love the way you say, "you can't get rid of me"
i love the way you make me feel vulnerable.
i love the strength you give me.
i love the way you kiss me and say i love you.
but i hate how empty i feel when you're not there.

i look back at what we have done together and what we have accomplished and it makes me proud of you. i can just imagine how hard it must have been. how crazy and fast it must have seemed. but you never let go and you're still holding my hand. shielding me from the hail and storm, telling me that things will be alright. and i know it will be...and i'll hang on, as long as you are there.

kiss my forehead and bid me goodnight...i pray that you'll be beside me the next time i open my eyes.

Free as a caged bird

Feel the rythm of the rain as it taps your window and as it dances on your roof.
Savor the heat of the morning as it wakes you up to a new day regardless of the present it brings.
Too many battles, I've lost, becuase I was scared to even say what's on my mind.
Too many arguments I've had becuase I've said the wrong things at the wrong time.
Too many lip-biting moments I've encountered because I cannot beg you to stay.
You and your wandering soul is searing a pain I cannot contain.
My heart and wandering mind is taking steps backward...away from that awful reality that you are just a phonecall away but an eternity farther to embrace.
My hands are cold. My eyes are dry. My soul shallow...
I'm missing you and the moments we've had.
And the phone rings, and it's you, assuring me, that things will be alright.
And my phone beeps, and it's you telling me that it's not that bad.
My mail is full, and it's you telling me, your heart is mine.
I smile...sadly...grateful and ungrateful.
Coz I can't have you till you can live your life.
I think...quizically of ways to free you from your own chains and burden.
I laugh, coz as I start to work on my plan, my prison door bangs, reminding me that I'm just like you.
I utter a prayer for patience and hurrying God to give it to me before I lose my mind.
But I'm content -- with a longing heart and a pounding head.
Because we love eachother...and for now - that's all that really matters.

twisted relationships

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